Full Circle

I never realized how dirty of a guy I am.  Maybe I have lived all of these years in deniable bliss, but i remember the first time i thought this with my new wife.  (Now I am ghoing to admit something here, please don't judge....even though I say this I know you are still going to, Just know this will come "full circle" at the end.) 
Anyways, Kari had something wrong with her feet a long time ago and I said to her "why don't you pee on it"  Her response was very unforgiving "GROSS!" I said "Why is that gross the sterile will help clean it, I do it when I have a problem." her response confined my true dirtiness "NO!, YOU DO NOT! Tell me you don't!" All I could do is confirm the truth. And that truth confirmed what a gross dirty man I was.

It does not stop here though. Sadly.

I also have learned all kinds of other things proving how dirty I truly am; I would like to share with you all of the things that I have learned in the months of my marriage.  My hope in sharing is that those of you who do not have wives that are as honest with you, who do not communicate these things, know they are watching.
 Ready for the list to show how disgusting you are.
 -When cooking ALWAYS wash your hands before starting
-When you are cooking if you touch one food ALWAYS wash your hands before you touch another food
 -No matter where you are at it is unacceptable to NOT wash your hands after you pee
-If your sheets are not washed once every week or two(TOPS) you are sleeping in filth
 -Dusting is a bi-weekly project
 -showering daily. taking a few days off leaves you greasy and well, disgusting. Disgusting.
-Mop more than twice a year

These are some of the things I have learned not to do in my new life with my wife. Because they all make me: Dirty. Disgusting. Yeah I am sure many of you have other words too.  Know this though, I am a changed man, i think I washed my hands 15 times alone today.  I am a different man now, I am trying to be: Clean. Adorable. All for my wife.

Yesterday though my disgusting start of this came around with a full, redemptive, in your face, circle.  We were at the foot doctor together yesterday, and he looked at Kari's foot and said looks like a little fungus and I said just trying to be a smarty "Maybe you should pee on it!" And the Doctor looked at us smiled and said "Actually I recommend that, it works great!"  WHAT? WHAT? The start of this revealing disgusting thing I was right? ME? Right? YES!  And to boot Kari picked up her new foot lotion to cure her fungus and guess what was in it? Urea. which is what? sounds like something to me...

So how disgusting am I? What I was saying to do was right! It does help! Maybe i chose the wrong profession, maybe i should be a doctor.  My advice for everything is: Pee on it.

 Who knows maybe my other gross manisms will prove to be ok as time goes on.,  One can hope. And I do. Hope.