People always say, you never realize all your flaws until you're married. I've heard it a bunch of times, nodded my head in unknowing agreement, and chalked it up to...some day I'll understand. I'm afraid to say, I think that day is here. The following is the story of my own selfishness:
So, my husband got a job! I'm supposed to be excited about this, right? I am excited. I am excited that he has the opportunity to get out of the house. I am excited that he will be able to make a some extra money. I am excited that he will feel useful to our household. I am not excited that he will be working hours that take him away from our time together. And that his job is a 45 minute drive. Yuck! He doesn't mind, but I mind for him. I mind for his safety, and I mind because of the amount of gas it is going to take for him to get to this job. I'm trying to be a good sport!
Due to the amount of driving he has to do, I told him that I think he should drive my vehicle instead of his. It is a safer car and it gets better gas mileage than his little Mazda truck with 200,000+ miles on it. While discussing this situation, we both went back and forth on the issue. He continued to say to me, "no Kari, I'm not going to take your car" and I found myself hesitating. Hesitating because deep inside me, I didn't want to drive his truck. There was a part of me that felt like I "deserved" to drive my car instead of his. Eventually, I declared that no, he would drive my car. Having a safe husband and saving some extra cash is definitely worth driving the Mazda.
Through this experience, however, my selfishness was revealed. Something within me felt that I had worked hard to purchase my car a couple of years back and the thought of giving that up was hard for me. I'm glad to say that I did come around, but I can't say that I'm excited to venture to the dark garage at 7:15 am to leave for work with no garage door opening only to fumble my way to his truck to open the door and still have no light (the interior lights don't work), and start the truck while searching my way through the garbage strewn about the vehicle. Ahhhhhh, the joys of my husband's truck. But, you'll all be glad to know, since that first day, he has kindly cleaned and vacuumed his truck for me. It is pristine. I am learning to let go of my selfishness and think about "us" instead of "me." But, it's hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment