And two became one

So I have not been married too long now, but I have noticed some things change in me since I said those words "I Do".  But before I get to that I need to step back and paint a picture of the life I remember, and the person I remember before June 18th of this year.

Step back a moment with me and take a look at the man I use to be.

I guess I would have said about my past-self that I was an independent, opinionated, self-reliant kind of guy.  I would not say I was organized, but I was to that point in my life where I was living in a semi-clean home, doing the dishes, regularly (Notice I said regularly not nightly) I cleaned my toilet, my sink, my clothes, vacuumed  also on a regular basis.  When I lost my car keys I would look and find my own car keys.  Before I would go out I would open my closet and pick out my mismatched pieced together wardrobe that I though looked good. Yes, thought.

Oh my how things have changed for this man.

That independent, opinionated, self-reliant man has taken a step back these days.  So, now listen to the kind of man I have become... and becoming.

I now do the dishes each night, as soon as dinner is done.  My home is no longer semi clean, but a beautiful clean home where I even recognize when things are out of order and out of place.  But the best part is when I loose something I no longer go look for it my first words are "Kari have you seen_______"?  Before I even look.  It is like I am no longer capable of looking myself.  My favorite one that pushed our relationship into a new whole level of lost independence just happened.  I came home the other day ready to go out to a party and I asked my beautiful bride "What am I wearing tonight?" (Like I am no longer capable of picking it out) And her response: "I have already picked them out and laid them on the bed for you"  And it hit me right there...I no longer have to think in this marriage.  The man I once was has officially been dissolved. Completely.

This is not a bad thing though.  Scripture tells us that TWO will become ONE.  And I think this is a very true statement.  In ways that go far beyond the obvious.  You see I think I am no longer that person because I want to try as hard as I can to be a better man for my wife.  One that is not independent, but DEPENDS on her. Not opinionated but stops to LISTEN to her thoughts and feelings. Not self-reliant but one who puts her NEEDS above my own. And somehow, through the mysteries of God become ONE working unit, not two.  And if that means I no longer have to think about what I wear.  So be it.

Who knew I was sick?

I am the kind of guy who has a pretty simple view on doctors.  What I mean is I have always had a doctor. Ok, let me re-phrase that-I have always had one doctor. One.  When I get sick or have a cold, I call that doctor up, and make an appointment.  That doctor is also the one who has always given advice and done the tests for my diabetes.  When I had a pain, no matter where it was, I went to that doctor. If I had a rash, that doctor would take care of it (not that I have had many rashes). If I had a migraine, that doctor took care of it.  It was a very simple equation. Something is wrong= go to my primary care doctor.

My wife has a different system.  Very different.  Oh I know what you are thinking, how can anyone have that different of a system that it is worth blogging about.  Well, let me tell you...

Since I have been married, my doctor-patient relationship has become close to a full time job.  Here is my new list of appointments since I have been married.

-Primary care doctor
-Skin Doctor-(you know, to look at my skin)
-Chiropractor (at first every week, now every other for migraines and back alignment)
-Massage therapist for migraines (referred by Chiropractor)
-Eye Doctor
-Foot doctor (which I have been to - believe it or not - 5 times since I have been married)
-Endocrinologist (for all my diabetic needs)
-Dentist (I like this one and I guess I had one of these too)
-Dietitian (not scheduled yet, I am guessing after my diabetic doctor)
-Therapist (I don't have one of these but I am thinking about scheduling one myself to talk to them about all my doctors)

Anyway, I hope you can see what I mean when I say my wife has a different "system" than I had.   It is funny because I never knew that I was this messed up, that I was this sick, that I had this many problems going on in my body.

As I think about this new system I am living in I can't help but to think of how it parallels our marriage.  Not the obvious "we are different and do things differently" parallel.  But about how when I was single I thought I had a pretty good life, that I thought it was full and rich, and I was healthy and doing well.  But the truth of it is, there were things going on that I was not noticing.  And now that I am married and am taking care of myself with lots of doctors-lots of doctors-I am finding I actually was missing so much.  My life has become so much more full, and so much more rich, and so much more healthy all because of my wonderful bride.

So since I have been married, I have learned that I was not really as well as I had thought.  I was seriously a sick guy without my wife.  Not only because I had an inadequate number of doctors but because I was missing my life partner.

Finding Purpose

One of my more favorite things to do with my wife is to go on walks.  We started off really good, going several times a week, but our walks have been getting less and less.  When we do go out, I can tell right from the beginning what kind of walk it is going to be.  And let me tell you friends, sometimes within the first few minutes I think to myself:

"Chris, you love her...Just keep going and don't turn around."

I know a random thought to have as you head out on a walk with your wife, but here is the thing.  When I go out on a walk  I like to stroll around, take in the view, look at the homes, have a conversation, hold hands, see the trees turning and dropping leaves.  Feeling the cool fall air.  I guess to sum it up, I like to walk for PLEASURE.

My wife is a different story.  Much different.

You see, like I said, within the first few minutes, I know exactly what kind of walk it is going to be for her.  If she has a long stressful day, has not run that week, or we have not walked for a period of time, those arms of hers start building momentum.  They start pumping and she gets that pace moving....and for a guy who likes to walk for PLEASURE, I can tell when someone, that someone being my wife, is walking for a different reason.  That reason being PURPOSE.  She is walking to get that heart rate up, to melt that stress way, to have some sort of exercise in her life so she can feel good and healthy.

There you have it.  Pleasure vs. Purpose. 

This has become a very big theme in our relationship.  I am finding my way of thinking is much more laid back, more jokey, more sarcastic, more living on the pleasure side of life.  My wife usually has an agenda, has a plan, has the course plotted out...all for purpose in life. 

Aren't we a pair?

I guess God has us in one another's lives for a reason.  For me to see that it can be good to have a plan, that it is good to do things for purpose to enrich your life and others around you.  And for her (hopefully) to see that there is a time to stop and just enjoy.

If we can remember these lessons we see in one another, we have a great future ahead of ourselves. Especially if we can slow down when those arms of hers gets a-swingin.


Christopher Scott<><

Selfishness Revealed....

People always say, you never realize all your flaws until you're married.  I've heard it a bunch of times, nodded my head in unknowing agreement, and chalked it up to...some day I'll understand.  I'm afraid to say, I think that day is here.  The following is the story of my own selfishness:

So, my husband got a job!  I'm supposed to be excited about this, right?  I am excited.  I am excited that he has the opportunity to get out of the house.  I am excited that he will be able to make a some extra money.  I am excited that he will feel useful to our household.  I am not excited that he will be working hours that take him away from our time together.  And that his job is a 45 minute drive.  Yuck!  He doesn't mind, but I mind for him.  I mind for his safety, and I mind because of the amount of gas it is going to take for him to get to this job.  I'm trying to be a good sport! 

Due to the amount of driving he has to do, I told him that I think he should drive my vehicle instead of his.  It is a safer car and it gets better gas mileage than his little Mazda truck with 200,000+ miles on it.  While discussing this situation, we both went back and forth on the issue.  He continued to say to me, "no Kari, I'm not going to take your car" and I found myself hesitating.  Hesitating because deep inside me, I didn't want to drive his truck.  There was a part of me that felt like I "deserved" to drive my car instead of his.  Eventually, I declared that no, he would drive my car.  Having a safe husband and saving some extra cash is definitely worth driving the Mazda.

Through this experience, however, my selfishness was revealed.  Something within me felt that I had worked hard to purchase my car a couple of years back and the thought of giving that up was hard for me.  I'm glad to say that I did come around, but I can't say that I'm excited to venture to the dark garage at 7:15 am to leave for work with no garage door opening only to fumble my way to his truck to open the door and still have no light (the interior lights don't work), and start the truck while searching my way through the garbage strewn about the vehicle.  Ahhhhhh, the joys of my husband's truck.  But, you'll all be glad to know, since that first day, he has kindly cleaned and vacuumed his truck for me. It is pristine.  I am learning to let go of my selfishness and think about "us" instead of "me."  But, it's hard.

Well, Do something!

Kari and I do a lot of things together, well, most things together.  One of the more important things we do is attend church together.  Well, since I moved I have been attending the church Kari grew up in.  It is a great church which I have felt very welcomed into.   I have been given a lot of opportunities and have enjoyed my time there.  Since I have worked in churches for the last 10 years I guess I have developed some pretty strong opinions on what how to "do church well". And I guess I have been voicing those strong opinions to my wife since I have been noticing things in her/my church that have made me laugh, raise my eyebrows, and even made me ask "Seriously, Kari, did that just happen?" "Seriously?"  One of my most noticeable things has been every time we stand and sit as a congregation there is a very loud, and when i say loud i mean just that. Loud. Squeak of the wooden pews.  The first time I heard it i literally laughed and looked around to see who else noticed it, But i was all by myself smiling at the Loud noise.

Just this past Sunday though as I was watching how the tech stuff was being run, I leaned over and said "This is all wrong. It looks so unprofessional, and the program they are using is not being used the way it should."

And that is when it happened.  I said those oh so simple words to my wife.  When I said it I think I was looking for a just as simple remark back.  you know something along these lines

"Oh Honey, You are a such a manly tech guy, of course you know how to do it better"
"You are so right, have I told you you how handsome you are today"
"Have I told you that you can run that program better than anyone, my perfect husband"

you know something like that.  But i got nothing like those agreeable statements.  I got something that I suppose I will call a "I am not going to cater to your non-sense spousal statement"  This is what she said to me "Well, why dont you do something about it than!" Hmmm. Well, the truth of it is my wife was right. Again. I should not complain about something when I am capable of doing something about it now.

Even though My wife said something to get me to do something instead of just allowing me to complain I guess I need to thank her. Again.  Because these are the types of things that not only make me into a better person but allows me to help and serve and let the things I have learned help others out.  All great things instead of the week in and week out whining and complain about things.

IS this not what marriage is truly about. Helping the other person not just complain, but to help them to use their talents and thoughts for the positive instead of living in the negative side.  So Sometime this week I am going to the church to try and "help" with what has bothered me.

Maybe next time though I will get to hear something like:
"Oh you complain so cute! Have I told you that you are my dream boat hunk!"
One can only dream!

life before and after

So today I was on the phone with my old pastor talking about him and his wife coming to visit Kari and I.  As we were on the phone he asked me an interesting question.  He said "Do we need to bring our bedding or anything?" I chuckled and just said "No way, maybe if you were visiting my when I was a bachelor you would not only have to bring your own bedding but a plate and silverware to eat with but not now."

 Later as I processed through what i thought was a joke. Thought. I realized that it really was not a joke.  To my own personal dismay the life I use to live was very different from where I am right now. I once thought I was a well adapted, clean, owner of nice stuff, had everything I needed, could entertain, could make a home; BUT the truth of the matter is nothing of that was close to the way I live today.  My wife has an amazing gift for truly making a home a home.  I lived in ignorant bliss, very ignorant bliss. I had no idea what possibilities were really out there to welcome friends into a home and make them feel comfortable.  All i could offer them was fast internet and a good television show. (which by the way is pretty important) But it is not what makes people feel welcomed and comfortable.

So, I guess I need to take a moment to say I am better off now than I was before.  Better off because I have a loving and caring wife who has helped in making a home for me and with me.  A home where people no longer have to bring there own dinner plates and bedding to come visit me.  A home where we can be proud to have people over at any time or any point.  A home where we have gotten enough towels so all our guests can shower not just 4 of them (Since that is all the towels i had) Not a home where when a car pulls in the driveway you have to quickly pick up your underwear off the middle of the living room floor and toss them in your bedroom and close the door. (No I don't have any clue why there were underwear in my living room, it is just where i decided to drop them)

This is a good life. good. And once again, i need to stop and thank my wife.  Thanks for giving me more dishes than I know what to do with, for the fruit bowls I never thought I would use, for the water goblets that bring elegance to a meal for our friends, for giving my underwear a home, for having enough towels so our guests can ALL shower, not just a few of them, for having beautiful rooms and beds and sheets for our guests, for decorating with pictures and art to make this a home, for having the heart you do to make it all happen. Thanks.

I just now hope one day I can make people feel comfortable with tv and internet too. (I still think that is pretty important too) I guess some things will never change.

Christopher Scott<><

Through Your Eyes

The longer I'm married, the more I realize the differences between men and women.  Okay, okay, it's only been 3 1/2 months, but I still have new insights.  :)  Maybe I should say, the differences between Chris and I, versus men and women.  Generalizing all women by my own thoughts and all men by Chris' thoughts may not be fair, but regardless, it's interesting how we see different things in the same setting.

Have you ever noticed how important getting clear television channels is to men?  I've lived (what I considered to be a great life) for the last eight years without cable or satellite T.V.  So, yes, I get three or four channels, but who needs more?  I can watch Oprah, the Today Show, and the Biggest Loser.  I'm not a big T.V. watching; my life is complete.  Well, it is football season, in case you weren't sure, and my poor husband is having a rough time with our T.V. selection.  Frustrated is an understatement when the poor guy is trying to watch a football game on Sunday afternoon, Survivor on Wednesday night, or the Amazing Race and the channel through our digital converter box gets lines across it and the sound starts to sound like chipmunks with hiccups.  I cringe as he covers his face in frustration knowing that he is screaming internally and would really like to externally.  He went as far as to consider placing a ladder on the uneven roof (with me holding the bottom) to try to get up to the antennae so that he could try to change the direction of the antennae in order to watch the game. 

So, you may be thinking, that's not a big deal!  Watch the shows and games you want to watch online.  Well....that would work, but the same is true of our internet service.  Chris spent the extra money during the last few years to get 20GB of speed from his wireless internet provider in the Wisconsin.  It was awesome.  He watched T.V., movies, videos, and surfed the net with no problems at all.  Well, now that we are living here in Michigan, we are getting a great deal from a local internet provider, but let's just say, the speed isn't 20GB. In fact, my patient husband has taken to running speed tests throughout the day (as a form of entertainment perhaps?) and consistently gets .4-.8 GB of speed.  Please notice the decimal point before those numbers.  Needless to say, downloading even a You Tube video takes forever and you are interrupted a bunch of times watching the video in 15 second increments. 

Now here's what is so intriguing to me....I have lived like this for the last eight years and thought NOTHING of it.  But, during the last five weeks, I've thought about it a lot.  In fact, I'm feeling a bit inferior...our service isn't good enough.  It's interesting to consider our home through Chris' eyes when all I notice is whether the bed has been made or not!  :)

~Kari

Full Circle

I never realized how dirty of a guy I am.  Maybe I have lived all of these years in deniable bliss, but i remember the first time i thought this with my new wife.  (Now I am ghoing to admit something here, please don't judge....even though I say this I know you are still going to, Just know this will come "full circle" at the end.) 
Anyways, Kari had something wrong with her feet a long time ago and I said to her "why don't you pee on it"  Her response was very unforgiving "GROSS!" I said "Why is that gross the sterile will help clean it, I do it when I have a problem." her response confined my true dirtiness "NO!, YOU DO NOT! Tell me you don't!" All I could do is confirm the truth. And that truth confirmed what a gross dirty man I was.

It does not stop here though. Sadly.

I also have learned all kinds of other things proving how dirty I truly am; I would like to share with you all of the things that I have learned in the months of my marriage.  My hope in sharing is that those of you who do not have wives that are as honest with you, who do not communicate these things, know they are watching.
 Ready for the list to show how disgusting you are.
 -When cooking ALWAYS wash your hands before starting
-When you are cooking if you touch one food ALWAYS wash your hands before you touch another food
 -No matter where you are at it is unacceptable to NOT wash your hands after you pee
-If your sheets are not washed once every week or two(TOPS) you are sleeping in filth
 -Dusting is a bi-weekly project
 -showering daily. taking a few days off leaves you greasy and well, disgusting. Disgusting.
-Mop more than twice a year

These are some of the things I have learned not to do in my new life with my wife. Because they all make me: Dirty. Disgusting. Yeah I am sure many of you have other words too.  Know this though, I am a changed man, i think I washed my hands 15 times alone today.  I am a different man now, I am trying to be: Clean. Adorable. All for my wife.

Yesterday though my disgusting start of this came around with a full, redemptive, in your face, circle.  We were at the foot doctor together yesterday, and he looked at Kari's foot and said looks like a little fungus and I said just trying to be a smarty "Maybe you should pee on it!" And the Doctor looked at us smiled and said "Actually I recommend that, it works great!"  WHAT? WHAT? The start of this revealing disgusting thing I was right? ME? Right? YES!  And to boot Kari picked up her new foot lotion to cure her fungus and guess what was in it? Urea. which is what? sounds like something to me...

So how disgusting am I? What I was saying to do was right! It does help! Maybe i chose the wrong profession, maybe i should be a doctor.  My advice for everything is: Pee on it.

 Who knows maybe my other gross manisms will prove to be ok as time goes on.,  One can hope. And I do. Hope.

You are related to who?

This past Friday was date night for Kari and I.  Date nights are fun, because they give us a chance to get out and spend time with one another.  At the end of our dinner we decided to go the Charlevoix High School football game.  I really enjoy watching football, there is something nostalgic about sitting in the football stands with a blanket watching two teams play one another.

There were a few realizations that I had as we sat through this game.  The first hit me as I listened to the announcer "Run by Boss"  "pass by Potter" called the announcer.  Those of you who do not know these are family names of my wonderful bride from both sides of her family.  I joked saying what is the announcer in your family too? Kari very sweetly chuckled and said "Yes, he is" And later that announcer called down to the line judge saying "Uncle Lou, flip the number will ya!" At this point I had a lot of thoughts run through my head.  But one rose more clearly then the others, so I looked over to my wife and said "I see why you chose to marry a man from out of this town." She said "Why?" I responded with "because you wanted kids who did not have any deformities."  Kari has a lot of people who she is related to in this community, but beyond that she just has deep roots in this town and community.

  And this brings me to the second realization I had:

Because Kari knows these people and more importantly knows their stories she enjoyed just watching them.  I sat and watched the game, she sat and watched the people.  This is one of the things I love about my wife, she never turns people off.  I do.  I enjoyed sitting there watching football, not thinking about anything but the game.  Kari was paying attention to the stories of the people.  The people she knew.  The people from her world.  Even though I enjoy to shut the brain off, something I think I need to work on is to take in the heart behind what Kari was doing, and not shut the people off around me.  To notice them.  To take the time to know this community, to learn their story.  Too often I do not take the time to see the people.  I thank my wife for the reminder of this, for the reminder to stop and look at the people, to see them to know them.....Even if it is in between the plays.

Christopher <><

Listening

"You aren't listening to what I'm thinking!"  Nice quote right?  Who on earth would say such a crazy thing?!  Well, I have to admit that I made that comment to Chris, but there is more to the story...and needless to say, I misspoke as this thought came out of my mouth.  However, I do wonder if there was a piece of me that really did want him to know what I was thinking. 

Typically, I have thought of myself as a good listener.  Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part, but I enjoy listening to people as they share thoughts, ideas, and life.  But, I've learned lately (it's amazing how marriage does this to us) that I need to work on my listening skills and on sharing my thoughts rather than assuming someone can read my mind.  I'm not even sure what Chris and I were talking about when I made the comment about him not listening to me, but I do remember the sheer frustration that what I was trying to communicate was not what he was hearing.  He was hearing my words in a different way than I thought I was sharing them. 

In a similar way, Chris and I have been talking about listening to God.  We attempt to live our lives the way that God wants us to, to follow His path for our lives and do the things He wants us to do.   However, it's hard to know what that is at different points in our lives.  It is very clear to me that God has me in my place of work for a reason.  I don't know exactly what that reason is, but it is clear that this is where he wants me.  Not all things are that clear in our lives.  Chris and I decided that perhaps God feels silent in our lives because we are doing all the talking and not enough listening.  Listening to God is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do, but something that I also think is really important.  So, today we made our first attempt at listening.  We went for a walk together, but in silence the entire time.  This is so difficult for me!  I started by asking God to take away any distractions and to move my thoughts to the thing He wanted me to think about.  While I didn't hear any audible voice of God, I do think that God had things for me to hear from Him today.  And guess what, He never asked me to read His mind, but He was willing to place on my heart what is on His!  Another lesson I can learn from Him!  I hope to consistently listen to God and respond to the things He lays on my heart.  I have a hankering that one of those things is to communicate better with my husband so that I am more clearly articulating my thoughts and listening carefully to his.  

May I continue to keep my ears open!
Kari

My Confession

I need to confess something to you.  I am sometimes annoying. Very annoying.  I do not know why I do some of the things I do.  But I am finding they can get me in trouble with my wife.  Here is one instance of something recent.  I have this little habit of flipping switches on and off, on and off, on and off. When i see buttons, i want to push and play. Just something in me drives me to do it.  My wife does not like it when I do that.  When we ride in the car i want to hit the window button up and down, up and down, up and down. She does not like it for a variety of reasons we do not need to get into right now.  So lets sum up where we are at so we are on the same page. Since this is the set up to what really happened.

Chris has annoying habits of flipping things on and off = Wife does not like

So, on with the story.  There is a light switch in our house that does not work.  Her father Bud has fixed it before but it was not working again.  I knew it, And I also know I am not very good at mechanical things especially electrical things.  But I wanted to give it a try, you know being the "man of the house" Because, is that not what the men do, fix things. So, I went down flipped off the electricity (Have to give me credit for knowing that much) And Went up stairs took the plate where the problem was and looked touched some wires and thought to myself "Yup looks good to me-whoever did this obviously did a good and correct job. OBVIOUSLY." I then closed it up. Went downstairs flipped the electricity back on.  As i passed the place where the problem was i hit the switch. And guess what happened? THEY CAME ON! I internally celebrated at my amazing electrical prowess. But than i thought to myself.  "I really didn't do anything...I moved wires. that was it." Then I thought maybe Kari's father came over and got to it. Because there was no way I really did that. I decided to own it anyway.  I decided to be excited because maybe i touched a loose wire.  Who knows. Maybe i missed my calling in life to be an electrician.

Later that evening when Kari was home she was doing the dishes and I said with much pride "Look at what I did" flipping the light on and off, on and off, on and off..  The thing was this time was not out of habit or annoyance but out of excitement wanting to be congratulated for my amazing husband work. And I went ignored.  She barely even looked up from the dishes.  My manmotions (You know the emotions of a man) were very hurt. Where was my "OH HONEY! You are my electrical dream boat!" As she ran towards me for a kiss.  Nothing. So, on off, on off, on off went the light again to showcase my work." STOP THAT!" Kari said. Hmmmm, well that is not at all what I expected to hear. Not at all.

After Kari and I discussed things I found out she thought I was doing my annoying act, and I thought she just did not care.  But none of that was being communicated. I am thankful we had the opportunity to discuss openly and honestly about the situation.  This could have been one of those things that could have gone by with both of us feeling upset.  This is why I am convinced discussion and communication are so important in our relationship.  Also, not holding someones habits as a marker for why they are doing something.  I am glad we worked through this, and I hope we both learned from this situation as well.  I know I did.  I know I have to be careful of my annoying little habits so they are not misjudged in other circumstances.

Everything is better in two's...

For the last three weeks we have been living in Charlevoix.  After a fun summer wrapping up life in the U.P., enjoying time with those people Chris grew to love over the last four years and those I've gotten to know for a couple of years, spending time with friends on the lake, packing, packing, and more packing, we made the big move.  All of our belongings were finally in one place and there was no more solo traveling scheduled for us in the near future.  But, since we have moved here to Charlevoix, I have begun to notice a few things about married life.  Perhaps I'm noticing them more because we are now living in what was once "my" space.  It has now become "ours" and with that, we have also begun doing lots of activities together...things I once did solo.  And it is true, the same "blah" activities have now become more enjoyable and even exciting with two.

For instance, we had a raw wood bed that came from Chris' house and was going to be used in our new guest room.  In order to finish out the room and change what was once an office into a guest room, we needed to stain the bed frame.  A frame that Chris owned for over a year, but never got around to staining (who wants to take on that project solo).  As we left the frame in the garage unpacking, I dreaded the idea of staining it someday.  I also knew that if we carried it inside and put the bed together this way, years would pass before the bed ever was completed.  So, we left it in the garage.  In my head, I wrote it off as a "summer project" (as in the summer of 2011).  I'm not sure if it is just teachers who create these summer to-do lists that I speak of, but any project that seems too big to tackle, gets added to my summer to-do list.  Surprisingly, after a couple of days of unpacking, Chris and I looked at each other as we admired the piles and boxes of craziness in the guest room and he said, "well, should we stain that bed frame so we can get this room in order?"  What?!  Stain the bed, now?  Not wait until the summer of 2011?  I guess we could do it now, and it would be AWESOME to get that room in order.  I have a partner in crime for this project....it sounds so much more doable with two!  I'm in.  Today, I can happily report that we both learned a lot about staining...and the room is complete (well, almost)!


So, I also shouldn't have been surprised when all the boxes of "misc." items ended up in the basement.  We quickly learned that combining two lives of 30 year old's wasn't easy as we've both acquired way too much stuff!  With each box that got carried down (unlabeled) I cringed at the thought of later looking for something in a panic someday when we "had to have it" and not being able to find it!  But, I had to tell myself, "Kari, don't fret about it, we will get to the basement next summer."  See, here I was at my antics again.  The summer of 2011's "to-do" list was growing.  This took a couple more weeks and some boring days, but again, we decided to tackle it together.  Yup, bug bombs set, brooms to the cobwebs, my label-er in hand, and industrial brooms and we were ready to set to it.  It's amazing how a job that seemed SO BIG really only took us a couple of hours.  And guess what!  The completed project is beautiful, neatly organized and labeled rubbermaids adorning the nicely swept and cobweb free basement.  I might just want to venture down there every once in a while now!  Yet again, a project completed together that once seemed daunting is completed...together (and it's not the summer of 2011). 

I could go on and on with projects such as these.  Maybe it's because I had to do these things on my own for so long, but I've found so many projects more enjoyable: cooking, cleaning the house, going for walks, hanging out on a boring day, going shopping, etc.  And there are even other projects that seem to magically to be done!  I haven't mowed a lawn since the beginning of June!!!

In big and small ways, I am learning, that life really is better with two!

~Kari

To dwell or not to dwell.

"You know I will dwell on that if you don't"  Those were the words I heard after I spent 45 minutes on a lawnmower mowing our lawn.  You should know this is no ordinary lawnmower.  It is a Super Z zero degree double handled capable of pealing out, and possibly fast enough to beat a moped lawnmower.  So, when I say I mowed for 45 minutes, you should know it is a decent size lawn. When I was done with this pure manmachine, I put it back up on the trailer locked it up and walked into the house.  On my way in I noticed a little patch I somehow forgot to get. And that is when I heard it. Kari's voice. In my head. Loudly.  Ever since I have married Kari, I have somehow developed this audible Kari voice in my head.  And when I do something, forget to do something, do something the wrong way, The voice is in my head. Loudly.  The thing is I usually respond to it.  I respond because I want to make my bride happy. I listen to it, because I think it is truly what Kari would want me to do.  But I need to admit, I ignored it this time. I thought to myself speaking to the voice in my head, I already loaded the manmachine up, it is ready to be driven back to her parent's house.  I do not want to unload it, and mow this little patch.  The patch can wait till the next mow. Seriously look at it, not that bad, right?

 can you even see where I forgot? Barely.  So the Loud voice went ignored, and I entered the house.  My beautiful and intelligent wife was working diligently on her paper for her doctorate program. I announced "The lawn is done, ready to go bring it back. I missed a little patch but it should be fine." She stood up looked at me very sweetly and said "I would like to see"  I knew right there the voice in my head was right.  The Loud voice of my wife that I ignored, should never have been ignored.  All it took was for her to see the patch, her sweet innocent look at me saying "You know I will dwell on that if you don't" for me to go take the mower of the trailer, mow for 15 seconds, and load it all back up.

I guess I am slowly learning the importance of trying to listen to that voice in my head.  I know my way of doing things and thinking is sometimes very different from my wifes.  But I think marriage is about trying our best to make the other happy, even if it means you are doing things "Not the way you would"  Next time I will try a little better to not ignore the voice in my head. 

-Christopher Scott<><

It'll happen when it's supposed to...

Have you ever had someone say to you, "it'll happen when it's supposed to?"  Or have you ever said it to someone else?  It's one of those comments that deep down, we all know is true...God's timing is perfect and ours is not.  Though we think we know when we are ready for something to happen in our lives, the truth of the matter is that God knows best.  Still, it doesn't take away the sharpness of a comment such as this.  There are a few times in my life when I distinctly remember people making this comment to me.  The first time was in reference to meeting my husband.  I waited for many years to find the perfect man for me.  Throughout the years I found myself asking God, how much longer at different points, all along knowing that His timing was perfect...and that "it'll happen when it's supposed to."  And guess what!  It was true, God's timing was perfect.  Chris and I have actually talked about how we never would have dated each other in high school or probably for a while after that!  God truly knew.  His timing was perfect. 

I've found myself in a similar place these last few months hearing people say, "it'll happen when it's supposed to."  Hearing the comment once again makes me want to punch someone in the face.  Really, it will?  Well why isn't it happening now?  Why do I have to wait?  Why do you have to say that to me?  I'd almost rather hear someone say, "it's never going to happen" or "no means no" or "keep trying."  Maybe it's the prior experience I have with this comment.  Maybe it's because I am uncomfortable with trusting God with the plans in my life.  Maybe it's because it seems like a cliche comment that people say when you don't get something you desire in life.  Either way, I hope to not use the comment with anyone again in my life, so if you catching me saying it to you in the future...remind me, I HATE that line!  :)

Kari

Our differences

We have finally done it; we have joined the world of blogging.  For me I think this is much more though.  It is a time to stop and reflect on the life Kari and I are living together, and how God has made us vastly and uniquely different-Thus the name "Sweetly Sarcastic" Because my bride is one of the most sweet, caring, and loving women I have ever met; and than there is me. Sarcastic. Yes, that sums me up. Sarcastic.  Even though we are different, and view many things differently I know we belong together.  I know she is the one who will always be by my side, and I will be at hers. And this space will give us a "public" arena to laugh, discuss, and share this journey of life we are sharing, along with all of the crazy things that tend to happen along the way. I hope you will enjoy our musings.  I know I will. (No sarcasm attached, this time)

-Christopher Scott<><